Your boy is back1, uh oh!
Beats so sick you need Cipro2
The 112th Monarch of Funk3 is in
I’m the hero of this story and you just the villian
Adjust the volume, I don’t duck when you shoot
I’m bullet-proof like a bullet-proof suit
Deaf and mute still enjoy the bass
So loud rock the latitude of all 50 states
Don’t cop an attitude to try and save face
Wait and save a place at Dante’s gate4
Your mistake: Try and make a fool of me
Be like Chuck Norris5 vs. Chuck Woolery6
I’ll break your head off so you can watch me kick your ass
You drama mama and it makes me laugh
Watch your back, I’ll fuck you up like a slipped disk7
Stay on top of this rap game like meniscus8
Class, put away your books and take out your pencils
The professor’s in session and it’s time to get mental
You don’t see me often like burnt sienna9
But I’m the real deal like Hayden and Sienna10
That’s not what I came here to talk about
Got shit on my mind coming out my mouth
Get on this mic and I’m about to shout
If you mix Coke and Pepsi than they cancel out11
I mix math and magic I’m a mathemagician12
Make new numbers with the powers of addition
They’re like, ok, how bout six and seven?13
Poof! Abracadabra! Eleven!
Ok, I’m a little off
My hands are a little soft
I use lotion! Cucumber-melon!14
I like voting cause I’m not a felon15
I need a handle, Jack Daniels,16 filtered Camels17
Reason18 , and a bunch of old funk samples
I swore I’d never use this beat again
Stealing beats like Angelina steals Cambodian children19
My rhymes so big they got little rhymes orbiting
Even when they don’t make sense timestenstigrity
When I battle I shatter other rappers the most
144 times that’s gross20
You want some jelly? Cause you’re toast
Eat MC’s like you for breakfast with my Cheerios21
Go back to kindergarten man, learn some grammar
You’re a Timex watch, I’m a motherfucking calendar22
I went to nerd high school and made the honor roll
But there’s still one more thing that I need to know
Question, to all you rap alum
You got something to say, or you just trying to make albums?23
- Common motif in Jay-Z lyrics. See “Clothes Off”; See also “Dirt off Your Shoulders” (‘Your boy back in the building’), “Kingdom Come” (‘Cause your boy HOV is back’), and “Brooklyn” (‘Your boy’s back with a new one’). [↩]
- Brand name for ciprofloxacin, an antibacterial drug. Popularized in 2001 for its use in treating patients exposed to anthrax. [↩]
- Reference to Art mac Cuinn/Art Óenfer, a semi-legendary High King of Ireland. Considered to be the 112th Monarch of Ireland and the originator of the Hart surname. [↩]
- Reference to Dante’s Inferno. In the story, the entrance to Hell is marked by a gate, upon which lies the inscription “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.” [↩]
- American actor and subject of the internet meme “Chuck Norris facts” which document hyperbolic and often absurdly heroic traits and feats of Mr. Norris. Quite frankly, I think the whole idea is just a rip-off of Saturday Night Live’s Bill Brasky sketches. [↩]
- Quintessential game-show host who first gained popularity on Wheel of Fortune during the mid-70s. [↩]
- Spinal disk herniation, a common back injury. Not fun from what I hear. [↩]
- The curve of the surface of a molecular surface, often seen at the top of liquids in a test-tube. [↩]
- Ranked 44 out of Crayola crayon’s 50 most popular colors. Guess most kids just use brown or Burnt Umber. [↩]
- In early 2007, rumors circulated that actors Hayden Christensen and Sienna Miller may have actually engaged in sex during the filming of a sex scene in the movie Factory Girl. I never saw the movie. [↩]
- This hasn’t been replicated in a scientific setting. Though some wonder if such a mixture would result in a toxic substance. [↩]
- Shockingly not a big hit at kid’s parties. [↩]
- Clearly, “they” have extremely low expectations of my powers [↩]
- A classic and very popular lotion scent. Not so popular as an ice-cream flavor. [↩]
- It is common for states to deny the right to vote to inmates, those on probation, parolees, and ex-felons. The fear is that they will vote for someone who wants to legalize murder. [↩]
- Lyric changed for legal reasons. [↩]
- Written when Terry Mic’s brand of choice was filtered Camel cigarettes; now, he smokes Marlboro Reds [↩]
- Popular software package made by Propellerhead used by Free Marconi to make most of their music [↩]
- Reference to Angelina Jolie’s proclivity for adopting foreign orphans. The beat used underneath this lyric is taken from Impeach the President by The Honey Drippers, a beat which has also been used by numerous hip-hop and other musicians. This sample was the subject of a lawsuit in Tuff ‘N’ Rumble v. Profile Records, where the court granted the defendant’s motion for summary judgement after concluding the plaintiff’s could not establish ownership of the copyright in the sound recording and no reasonable jury could find any substantial similarity between the original sound recording and the defendant’s sound recording. [↩]
- Unit of measurement; one dozen dozen. [↩]
- Common breakfast cereal from General Mills. You gotta put something else on them because they aren’t really that good, IMHO [↩]
- Comparing emcee skills to timekeeping skills of low-cost watch versus a yearly calendar [↩]
- Ironic statement, considering the often-nonsensical lyrical content of this song [↩]
